Friday, July 13, 2012

stay at home mom

I ran into an old friend from High school a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't help but notice how nice her and her daughter were dressed. They had on really cute clean new clothes. The little girl was holding a cute purse that matched her shoes. She had some fun electronic hand held learning game. Her hair was nicely parted and pulled back. My old friend finished college and is now a full time nurse. It was nice catching up with her, but I felt a little down on myself after the visit.
Why? Because as she was talking I couldn't hep but get self conscious about the paint stuck on my pant legs or the fact that my hair was a mess. My daughter has spaghetti O's on her t-shirt. The stroller Belle was riding in was old and warn out. I felt almost poor. I told my husband later that night how I was feeling gross and jealous that I couldn't give my girls nice toys and new things.
He laughed at me.
which made me more upset! I tried to back up my point about maybe I should go back to work full time then we could afford those things.
"Honey We are not poor. Our girls don't need fancy things they need you."

  I started reading a book called in praise of Stay-at-home moms. and I came across a letter that was written to the author. She wrote about how she was a SAHM. She was very active in her three children's lives, school, sports and just little moments throughout their days. She also had those moments where she wanted to pull her hair out and lock herself in the bathroom. It wasn't always easy but then after her second child was killed in a car accident when he was only 16 years old, she looks back at all the time she got to spend with him and she treasures it.

now I don't think my friend from high school or any other working moms are bad moms or their children are not happy. My own mom had to work to provide for us and I don't resent her for it. I am  just saying that it opened my eyes, once again, that for my family and my girls it is better for me to be home with them. being able to wear the prettiest clothes and having my children own the latest greatest toy is not what I want to give them. I want to give them memories of us together. I will only get this time once.  sacrificing on the nicer things in life for a few years is a small price to pay. for now I am happy that I get to spend every waking second just being their MOM and my husband's WIFE.

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