Like so many the hard times of 2020 seemed to continue into 2021.
My family has been hit hard
we lost my grandma
my father had a stroke
two of my sisters suffered miscarriages
and a lot of other relationships that mean a lot to me seem to have been hurt because of politics or religious differences.
Gossip and expectations not being met.
I noticed my migraines are getting worse.
After a mix of wonderful and a very overwhelming weekend
I was exhausted.
I have been struggling with defining my why's about my presence on social media. The last post on this blog was all about feeling censored and judged!
I don't understand where the concept of agree to disagree and still respect each other's rights to our own opinions has gone?
I am not perfect and I am striving to learn and put myself in other shoes. I may never fully relate to someones story but I have empathy.
maybe a little too much.
I am the kind of person that will take on others emotions and fully feel them. I try to figure out what motivates someone to treat others so badly.
I used to think everyone has good in them. the older I get the more I feel like that's harder to believe.
We have witnessed others try to destroy what someone built honestly all because of selfish reasons. it's extremely disheartening.
I have been feeling very negative lately.
I don't like it.
I am not saying it's all one persons fault or a social media platforms fault.
it's mine.
I need to recognize that I am overloading my own consumption of outside influences on negative things.
I need to redirect what I spent my time investing in.
I need to take more breaks and walk away for the constant exposure of other peoples lives.
people that even if they are well meaning don't deserve that currency of my attention.
I need to focus on what makes me happy.
where I am needed
And the answer to that is so obvious.
HOME.
my marriage
my children
my education
my art
my passions
me
I am making a conscious choice to only log onto Facebook once a week.
share my photography images on Instagram once a week.
Write a blog post with all the other images I want to have documented somewhere twice a week.
Check my email when need
Only research things that farther my knowledge on topics I care about.
I am not sure if this will be a permanent thing. I truly love being about to reconnect with old friends and family members. I love keeping up with your stories and your lives. I love sharing our family. But I have seen some dark things happen because of social media and I need to set boundaries for the time being. It's already been a week and my stress level has gone noticeably down. I have very close individuals I admire that have already implemented a similar schedule or have completely signed off of social media. They have all said it was the best decision they made.
I am craving freedom.
I think this is the first step to helping me achieve goals I have for a more simpler life.
No comments:
Post a Comment