Monday, September 30, 2013

the house that built me

I am sure if your a country fan like me you have herd 
it was written for me
not really but if sure feels like it
you see back in 2005 (5 years before the song came out)
 It was the end of my senior year in high school and I felt like it was the end of my life as I knew it. 
everything was changing
people I called my best friends were leaving
I was leaving
growing up
making adult decisions that would forever shape my future.
But before I took another step I need to go back.
 the house I grew up in 
The place that I had so many happy memories before my family spit up and my parents got divorce.
It was a time of childhood bliss
playing in the woods
running barefoot in the grass catching fire flies
it's were I played pretend and wrestled my brothers
money was always tight but we never felt like we were deprived of anything.
Christmas, birthdays, and listening to my daddy play guitar.
our puppies died and we buried them in the back yard
My mom picked out a wallpaper and my dad spent a whole day putting it up for her
we planted flowers and carved pumpkins.
My mom hated the house
was very old and needed a lot of work
Daddy had tons of plans but then 
things changed.
They changed.
and we left.
I was 12 years old but that house 
that time before everything
just seemed like paradise and happiness.
I missed it and I needed it.
So when I turned 18 I went back.
The new owners were a young couple with young children 
I walked around and things looked so different. 
I felt strange so I didn't stay long. 
the paradise was gone The happiness was not in that house for me anymore.
 things change.
I drove by the house every so often and would always smile.
then it was gone
 all that is left is the mailbox 
1904 Jamison rd.

I sometimes still feel all the hurt from that time.
I have so many questions but never the courage to ask
I wish things would have been different but then I also know that I am who I am because of what happened. 
I feel like God has a way of telling you to move on and this was my sign.
the house is gone, that time is gone.
I now have my own house with my own husband and kids. 
I so desperately want to give them that dream childhood that I briefly experienced. It means more to me than almost anything
 that they have happy carefree memories
that they see first hand a healthy loving marriage
and supportive family that they can feel free to talk about their feelings and hurts
I want them to be able to come back to the house that built them.

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