Saturday, August 11, 2018

Belle's 8th birthday letter

Dear Belle,

you are so unique.
I love that so much!
you always find your own style and run with it regardless if anyone else understands or not.
since you were around two years old you have been interested in vintage cartoons
Dumbo and Elmo were your first loves.
then you were obsessed over 1970 versions of Spider man and friends. you would act out the character Fire Star.
 I legit had no clue who she was before that time.
 then you started to grow out of that little kid phase and I was kind of sad because I just found that who thing fascinating. it wasn't the cool thing or what your sisters did. it was all you.
 you started reading and you gravitated to the comic book section. 
when you started doing book reports you actually found 3-400 page books written in complete comic book style and the teacher let you do your report with that book!!
again I liget had no idea those existed before then.
again you are you
no reason to be embarrassed or change for anyone.
you inspire me.
you have a personal style that to me screams artist. 
you like to wear black everything everyday but have some sort of pop of color somewhere,
 a headband, bag, shoes, jewelry. 
you dream of going to Paris. 
It's your life goal right now to get there. 
you haven't said much about why or what you plan to do but I know without a doubt you will make it. I just hope you think I am cool enough to go with you. 
because it's my life dream to see my kids live out their dreams.
you still are the funniest person I know.
 if ever I have a very corny mom joke I know you will laugh and come back with an even better one! you make me laugh so hard till my belly hurts sometimes and I love it! 
on the hardest days you know how to put things in perspective and find some reason to smile. 
Thank you.
Art is still your passion.
you have a desire to join cheer leading again.
my quite shy girl wants to scream her heart out. 
a beautiful balance.
you remind me you're not to be grouped with your younger sisters anymore.
 you are growing. you are maturing. 
you are the age now that you can put your own laundry away, you can walk to the neighbors to play in her backyard, you can get yourself a drink, you can carry groceries inside, you can make your bed, you can brush your own hair, set the table and clear your plate, pour your own cereal, buckle your car seat AND help buckle your sisters, 
you have proven yourself a big girl.
 I am working on accepting that.
 the help you give is not unnoticed or unappreciated. I don't know what I would do without you. but 8 years old isn't an adult yet. don't worry girlie that will come way too fast for this mom.

I love you so much Belle Elizabeth.

Happy birthday!

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Stella's 6th birthday letter

Dear Stella,
Girl!! you are one of a kind! my heart skips a beat just thinking about you and how lucky I am!
I mean you are so special! I know all parents say things like that about their kids but I truly mean it with all my heart! 
 You are the kind of kid that goes to a playground looking for your new best friend. you include everyone in your games and activities. You ask them questions and remember their names and other details about them. you truly have a gift of making everyone you come in contact with feel special.
 That crooked teeth smile melts me. you're so sweet and innocent. so happy and caring. the biggest look on the bright side person I know. you get so excited about all the little things in life. you love rainbows and sparkles. tutus and kitty cats, cowgirl boots and ketchup.
 it's a privilege to watch you grow. 
over the last year you have learned SO much!
 I always knew you were smart. I am so grateful for the extra time we had together working on your preschool. Stella you have blown me away with how much you pushed yourself and really loved working on getting better and better at reading and writing. then you, on your own, figured out how math works!!!! you started memorizing math facts! if we were being are mad at me right now, because I have been telling you that you will start kindergarten after your birthday. well you took that literally. you think school starts tomorrow..........
 you still have this huge inspiring bond with Jesus. you pray everyday all day. you tell me about your prayers for other people and it brings me to tears just how amazing you are. from the second I found out I was pregnant with you, you have taught me the importance of prayer and trusting in Gods plan. I am forever grateful for that. you changed my life.
 I hope as year 6 in your life brings lots of changes and growing up you always stay you.
 you're so unique and quirky. some people might not always understand but I hope that never deters you from continuing to fully enjoy life and doing what you love.
 so eat pancakes with Ketchup, sing as loud as you can, talk to grasshoppers, hug nice strangers, wear your dress backwards, and suck your thumb....( ok well maybe you should break that habit)
 just be you.
 because you are so loved for who you are.
Happy birthday,
Stella Jo
My mini me

love forever

Friday, June 22, 2018

13th letter to Julia

Dear Julia,
I am behind on writing this letter to you.
 I could come up with a million excuses as to why but the truth. 
I just don't want to.
 I know how emotional it will be for me because it means you truly are 13 years old and I am not sure my heart is ready.
 I remember the very first time I met you. three weeks old sitting in a car seat with the biggest smile on your face. I was blown away about how alert you were starring right at me. it was like you somehow already knew me and knew how much you were going to change my life. it's one of those moments I will never forget.  I was terrified but something told you were special. 
it truly seems like yesterday.

these past 13 years have not been easy. 
we both have learned and grown and been hurt and healed so much.
I want more than anything for you to always know that I love you and I care and I am ALWAYS on your side. the next few years will truly test those things but they will never change how I feel about you. I feel so blessed that God and you chose me to do that.

You are the smartest person. 
you inspire me to set goals and fight with everything in me until I achieve them.
You are stunning. 
so effortlessly beautiful.
you have a passion for fairness and equality.
you are quick and a problem solver. 
a fast learner and a hard worker.
you don't put up with anyone treating you less than
you make me so proud

being 100% honest we fight a lot.
 almost everyday sometimes.
we both get so stressed out and put a lot of pressure on each other.
I know there are times you feel like I am being to hard on you or I might be really angry and you question if I even love you. 
The answer is I love you more because I am so hard on you. I stay up late worring about you the most. I second guess myself all the time because I don't have a clue what I am doing. I pray every night that I don't screw you up or casue any serious damage to the way to see yourself. you're learning and so am I. You take up the most of my attention and time right now because I know you need it the most right now. and thats ok. you need to know you are worthy and loved. you are safe and taken care of. you have support and people that will never leave you. I live the rest of my life making sure you know all that. 
yes we have hard days and there will be more to come but I am and always will be the biggest fan of your whole life because you gave real meaning to my life. you taught me how to be a mom.

You gave meaning to your Daddy's life too. He was lost and hurt and at his rock bottom when you came along. you truly are the reason he turned his life around and made him be a man. He never wanted to fail you or give you a life you don't deserve. for no other reason than because you deserve it. you are the reason I fell in love with him. because he wasn't all talk or show. he actually worked and sacrificed and fought and loves being your Dad. None of that has ever went away. I owe you and your sisters owe you for giving the best version of him to us. Without you our family would never have been.

O your sisters!
yes they are annoying. and still so young. yes they still love kiddie shows and silly games. Yes you have out grown all that and roll your eyes when we have to do something that just might embarrass you because well that what little sisters do. But you know you they absolutely adore you. They look up to you so much and desperately want your attention and approval. They want to make you happy and to be just like you. You are their sissy. their first friend and mentor. They sometimes go to you first before me with a question or for advice. please please please don't ever lose sight of how important and wonderful that role is. I tell you more times that I can count That life will give you all kinds of phases of friends, but your sisters will never go away. I am so proud they have you. you are their protector.

I truly look forward to the coming years. yes I know that may come as a shock to you, but I feel now that you are older you're starting to understand things better and know more of who you are and who you want to be. I feel in my bones that although I will never be your friend first, we will have a stronger bond. we will spend hours at night talking about life, dreams, boys, school, goals and hobbies.
 I will always long for those baby days when you would fall asleep on my shoulder, the chubby hand holding mine as we cross the street, the toothless smile, the first time you got glasses, or your pixie cut, your first boy crush on Justin Bieber, the way you climbed trees until it was dangerously too high, the way you begged me to be a chaperone to your field trips, practicing your spelling words, the way you would get excited about doing crafts with me, washing your hair and tying your shoes, zipping up your jackets, buckling up your seat belt, blowing me kisses from the school bus, that little girl giggle.

those are all gone. 
I am forever grateful for them all.
it was a beautiful journey and I know without a doubt you will make the next chapter an even more memorable one.

Happy Birthday Baby.
My girl
The Julia
Julia Rose

love, Mom

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Christmas card 2017

It's that time of year again!!!!
The time I torture my family for a fun Christmas picture!
This year we got all cozy in our Christmas Jammies and sat on my Christmas decorated Bed and threw feathers at each other!!!

I just love each one of these people


My family is the best when it comes to going along with my ideas and letting me play photoshoot every once in a while.
 but this guy........ 

 I know he loves me so because
 we were done with pictures he had changed out of his clothes and started playing his computer game when I had remembered I really wanted some pictures of just us. so he pressed paused put his jammie pants that I made him out of a used table cloth (not perfect or comfy but hey we match!) and posed with no complaints!
 That's how I know I found the one for me :)
 and then of course we had to get one of our baby boy.
Happy Christmas y'all!
I am so happy with how these all turned out.
ordering the cards now and mailing them out ASAP!
Here is the link to all the Christmas cards in the past.....


Saturday, November 4, 2017

3rd letter to Hazel

Dear Hazel,
 I have started this letter and then deleted it too many times to count.
nothing I write seems to really explain how special and loved you are.
3 years seems like such a short time to make such a huge impact on someone
 but I am forever changed as a person and mom 
because of you and everything you have taught me so far. 
It is truly a huge honor to be your mother and have a front row seat to watching you grow
Without a doubt you have big plans already in the works for your life.

You wake up with a smile on your face every day.
you walk down the steps and shout "morning mom! I had a good dream about you!"
then after hugs you ask so politely for some "Mellows cereal" (marshmallows)
I admit I only buy that kind of cereal to hear you say "mellows" over and over again. 
it's the sweetest.
Then you watch and make sure your "sisssorss" don't forget coats and lunch boxes before they leave for school.
you pay very close attention to details like that.
when your dad or I am doing our work outs you are always watching, cheering and working out right along side us.
Jerky is your best friend 
whether he likes it or not. 
you will not let a day go by that you don't smother him with hugs and kisses.
you always hold doors open for everyone.
you love to assist with diaper changes on the babysitting babies.
But if I ask you if we can have a baby of our own you are quick to say "NO! I AM THE BABY!"
if its clean up time you are the one that should get a shiny star sticker for biggest helper.
you are a great eater and you always tell me "Thank you for my dinner."
you have to fall asleep with at least 3 books in bed with you but you seem to think every book ONLY says "ABCD'S"
then after tucking you in and turning off the lights you say
 "night mom, I going to have a good dream about you!"
you make my heart melt!

you are feisty and have opinions. 
you have to be included in everything
you're not shy but you are quite.
you watch and take everything in.
you are cautious of who you trust but once someone gains your trust
 you let that sweetness just completely wrap them up and they are willing to walk on fire for you.
you are funny
but if someone is laughing at you, you shut down and they have to earn your trust all over again.
I hope you learn to let your guard down a little more. becasue everyone needs a little Hazel in their lives.

I am not sure if it's because you're the baby in the family or because it's your age or because its you but there are so many times I just look at you
 and I think no one can ever be cuter at life!
  everything you do, yawning, walking, relaxing,brushing hair, putting on shoes, zipping up a coat, sticking your tongue out, seriously it's all just SO CUTE! 
I feel that weird crazy animal mother instinct of wanting to eat your toes because I just can't handle how cute you are!!! 
I also admit I am a little goofy but I have to be honest. I am under your spell. so keep doing normal everyday things and know your mom is crazy in love with you and your absolute biggest fan.
 you are not a typical girlie girl. but you don't seemed phased one bit that the things that makes you happy are not at all what other girls do. your favorite color is orange. your favorite toy is your tool box. you are not to crazy about princesses but Clifford the big red dog that's your favorite!
  I have no idea what God has in store for your life. I know whatever it is it's going to be hard work that you will gladly roll up your sleeves and get it done. you inspire me and push me to do what I want to do, no matter what someone else thinks.

you're a breath of fresh air and a perfect hug when needed.
no amount of Thank you's could be said for all the love and help you have given these last 3 years.
Don't ever change.
although knowing you
you wouldn't even think about it anyway.
I like you a lot.
So my sweet Hazelnut
Daddy's Winnie
Hazel Gwendolyn

Happiest 3rd Birthday!
love, Mama
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