Tuesday, January 5, 2021

dusting off the old blog

 Well Hello there!!!

other than posting a few times a year my letters to the girls for their birthdays, I have not actually made a blog post in a VERY VERY long time! I am missing it and with the current climate of today's social media, I am wanting to create a safe place for myself to post. I understand really no where on the internet is completely safe but I have a little voice in the back of my head reminding me of a simpler time when I loved writing and sharing my days and little tid bits of my life on THIS blog!. 

So I thought I would test the waters and see if this change is actually something I want to implement back into my routine.

I have spent the last few months really reflecting on my why for even being on social media. 

it's connection.

I want to share my girls and my life with my family and friends. I want to know what they are doing in their lives. I want to interact with others going through similar life experiences. I want to get my photos out in the world for exposure and to gain new opportunities. I love to get ideas for photography, home decor, art projects, gardens, reading, ect. I love to see what God is doing in other's life and find ways I can help or get help if needed. 

Social media is such a great tool but can also be a dark place. I have in the last few years had friends and family block me because of a political stance. I have even felt myself judging and being upset at others for their choices. I have spent way too much time researching and fact checking the fact checkers only to just continue going in circles with others and getting no where at finding real solutions or even to come to a agree to disagree moment. This has caused too much stress and sadness for my own mental health and I feel it's been building up.

I don't want it to get worse. I don't want to live my life putting energy into things that I know in my core is not my calling to be on that battle field. I want to show the love of Jesus through my actions. I have so many flaws and I recognize them and want to actively work towards correcting them.

2020 was a very hard year for everyone and I don't want to spend a ton of time retelling all the ups and downs. I want to start fresh with this blog but I do want to explain that God has spoken so loud and clear to me about what he wants me to be focusing on. My girls, my marriage, my journey to becoming an Art teacher and laying down the ground work to goals we all have as a family and followers of Christ. I have so much to share!! So much content I want to dive more into and document. I just know that something needs to change with my current outlets. I truly feel the Christian community is under attack. So I am seeking a safe place that I can freely share without the fear of being censored. I am praying this is the answer. I don't plan to post much my Facebook page and Instagram. I will continue to be on there for contact reasons with family and friends. this is going to be the place from here on out where you will see pictures of me, my kids, my husband, my life. I am going to start out slow and post only once a week a recap of what we have done and maybe a bonus post of what's on my mind. I really want to get into writing more. I enjoy it even though I know I am not the most talented. 

I am ready for this change. I know it's the right thing to do.  

So if you are excited to read and see pictures here we go!!!

first up are just to update anyone on how much my girls have grown since the last time I posted:

 me and the Mr. are still smooching like we are teenagers 


Alright that's it for now but I Girl scout promise you I will be back!

what are you doing differently this year to help your mental health?

Thursday, August 22, 2019

Belle's 9th birthday letter

Dear Belle,
 every year I say I can't believe how fast time is going
 but every year it just seems to speed up faster!!!
9 is a big kid number! 
like there is no pretending that you are not growing up.
I am absolutely in love with who you are growing into.

Your Dad and I were talking about how you have interest and talents
 that are not what Julia would call "trending"
 but you completely enjoy these things and you know you are good at them
 so you do it anyway. I think that is amazing and inspiring! 
you love comic books, star wars, designing and sewing, drawing and roller skating.

you are so dependable and responsible. 
helpful and caring. 
you are always the one ready to comfort anyone that needs it.
you have a heart of gold.
and then you have the darkest sense of humor.
It completely takes people off gaurd becasue you look every bit the part of an angel
 but you live for the burn you dish out.
 and I admit I am very impressed and quite frankly proud of it.
your favorite person to tease is Uncle Gage.
you will never admit it but you love him so much but your so deep into your game that you could never show it.

I got to go to Girl scout camp with you this past year and I learned so much about you during all the activities and fun with your friends.
 you have a great group of friends.
 I am so thankful for that. 
I used to pray very hard night after night that you would get out of your shell.
 your friends know the real you and they love you! 
they help bring out your silly, funny goofy side and they know exactly how to support you and encourage you. 
You are an amazing friend back and that make me so proud.
The way you treat your sisters is exactly the way you treat your friends.
I hope you never stop that.

I feel 100% blessed to be your mom.
to have front row seats to watch you grow.
keep doing you 
no worries or second guessing 
be confident and practice hard until you accomplish all your dreams.
I have no doubt you will make it to Paris one day babe.
America's Got Talent is another story but you never know 
no matter what know that I am your number 1 fan!!

Happy 9th birthday,
Belle Elizabeth
Belle Belle
Miss Belle


Monday, July 15, 2019

Stella's 7th LETTER

Dear Stella,

This past year has been full of changes for you. 
You started Kindergarten! 
you learned how to read, do math problems, make new friends and just blow me away with how fast you learned all the things!
School was such a big step and we had our reasons for waiting one more year before signing you up but when it was time  
you were beyond ready!
School is your home away from home. you loved your teacher,
 I loved that she was Julia's teacher and she already knew you and our family well.
 That helped a lot with my anxiety. 
you would get so upset on weekends or days off school because you didn't want a day off!
 I seriously hope you always have this passion for learning and school,
 it will take you far baby girl!
 countless amount of times I witnessed you being the very best friend anyone would be blessed to have. A boy had a running nose and you gave him your sweater to wipe his face. You made crafts and pictures for all the kids in your class for no other reason but to let them know you thought about them. You always are concerned about any kids that are getting "bullied" and you made sure the adults around would look out for it. you wanted to be the first to RSVP to every birthday party invite. and every single day you ask for a play date and each time its a new kids name.
 Your sense of Humor is one of a kind.
 very silly, random and sometimes you're the only one that gets the joke
 and that's totally fine with you because you just love to laugh. 
it can be a crazy hyeena witch laugh with lots of snorts and its highly contagious!
 you are starting to really love art more. 
Your talents are neck and neck with Belle! 
You color and draw everyday. we run out of drawing paper on the monthly now! 
some times you do get frustrated with yourself about a mistake or not being able to doing something exactly like you had in your head.
 babe please don't be so hard on yourself and let the little mistakes get to you too much. sometimes the little imperfections end up being the best part.
 from the second I found out I was pregnant with you I have always worried about you, stressed about various different things about your health, your future, your surroundings. more than any of your sisters. I have told you so many times about how you taught me how to trust God, how to ask him first for help, how to pray and how to love without fear. Thank you.
 you are such a homebody.
 your happy place is sitting on the couch with your 20 super soft pillows, a book and your thumb. your favorite color is pink, and purple and rainbow and glitter and sparkles. 
you are still a huge my little pony fan.
 you still love Ketchup. 
bath bombs are a favorite right now. 
you sing at the top of your lungs every song you make up.
 you dance and beg us to sit for your living room performances

 you brighten everyone's day and you make everyone you meet feel loved. it's a gift I am so proud to see you have.
I can't wrap my head around the fact that you are 7 years old! that's a really big kids number to me and it's just hard for me because you will always be my little girl.
 I love you so much! I am so excited to see what this coming year holds for you because it's going to be another big one! new school, girl scouts and ninja training :P 
 no matter what just promise me it will be filled with your giggles and perfect cuddle sessions.

Happy birthday 
Stella Jo

Thursday, June 13, 2019

Julia's 14th letter

Dear Julia,
Here we are.
another year.
and I am pretty sure this 14th birthday is going to be one we might not always look back on 
with big smiles. 
you kind of hate me right now. 
or at least that's what you screamed at me after you slammed your door.
but everyone tells me that is to be expected at this age
I will just continue to love you and be here for whenever you do decide to open the door again.
  until then I want to go ahead and write a letter about all the good.
because believe it or not I see a lot of good.

You are so strong. 
You have this brilliant brain that is always thinking and problem solving.
 you question everything and you have a very good gift of arguing why your point is right. 
 I admit your logic most of the time makes complete sense.  
We joke about how you will make a great lawyer but I don't think its entirely a joke. 
you would be perfect at defending someone. I pray if that's the route God has planned for you,
 you use those gifts for good, for innocent, for justice.

 this age is full of insecurities.
 I hate that.
 I know you think I have to say these things but sweetheart you have nothing to be insecure about.
 If anyone makes you feel less than, they suck.
please don't waste your energy on them. focus on what you love about yourself, what makes you happy, your dreams and what you have to do to achieve them.
 You are about to start high school!
 it's such a huge step in growing up and its going to be a great ride with lots of ups and downs. you're going to truly learn so much about yourself. I am so excited for all the clubs, teams, projects, reports, events, dances, sports, celebrations, friends nights, concerts, jobs, driving and yes even the boyfriends. just please don't settle for less than you deserve and PLEASE let us build trust with you and whomever you choose to spend time with. 
as much growing as you are about to do, you will always be our little girl.
 it's our job to love you protect you and support you. 
we will never stop but you can make it a bit easier on us all if you just let us.
 You have so many people that love you.
 I can't even tell you the amount of people that know our story or have just spent a little time with you, They all have fallen under your spell. 
they adore you. they root for you. 
from the ladies in my mom group, to my friends from old jobs, the neighbors, your old teachers, your friends parents, or just people we have gotten to know through this world on the internet.
 I get asked about you all the time.
 I remember back when you were a toddler
 and everyone we would meet would completely gush over you. 
you always had this sparkle about you. 
you are unforgettable.
 You are stunning!
 natural beauty but you also have a talent for make up that blows my mind! 
you have a style about you that I can't put a label on. 
you're simple, classic, a bit sporty but also very girlie. 
I give up trying to buy clothes for you because just when I think I know what you will like you raid my closet and totally surprise me with something I never would have guessed you would have liked.
 I grew up with brothers until I was 12, so sharing clothes, make up and hair things was not an option for me. I am excited I get a taste of that with sharing your things.
 except shoes, dang girl!
 I say it everyday and I will never stop. I love you. I thank God for you. you make me a better person. you matter. don't ever forget that nothing you could ever say or do will ever change any of that!
My teenager,
The Julia
Julia Rose

Mom :D

Friday, November 9, 2018

Hazel's 4th letter

life has been extra busy and I am just getting time to write your birthday letter. 
Things like that make me feel so guilty!
you deserve the best and there are just so many things I am not good at or feel just so overwhelmed and I end up dropping balls.
 you are always the first to give big hugs and say "you're the best mom."
you remind me that you don't need extravagant, you need just need love.
you're happy.
it's a perfect reminder for me to let go of the big expectations I have for how to be a great mom and just give you extra squeezes 

Clifford has moved down your list of favorite cartoons and now you're loving PJ Mask
you are starting to develop a picky eater complex but you try so hard to be polite and push your plate away while saying "no thank you, Mama."
You don't take naps anymore
but your always the last one to wake up in the morning.
your sisters have to give you hugs and wave good bye when we drop them off for school
then on the way home you always get so happy because it's just me and you- for all of 10 minutes before the babysitting kids get here.
you absolutely love bath time.
 The love of tools, fixing and work is still ingrained in your being. 
you hear a hammer or drill and you go running!
we have had a lot of repairs and new appliances arrive at our house this past year and you made friends with every delivery/repair man that came over.
you claimed a pink tape measure that was in daddy's tool box.
you walk around seeing how tall everything is.
you also insisted on getting work boots like daddy but requested they be pink & I actually found a pair:

You always talk in, not 3rd person but you always say: Me.
like "Me, love you"
"Me want a snack"
"Me don't know how to do that."
it's absolutely the cutest thing. I know you will grow out of it and probably sometime soon so every time I hear it I have to pause for a moment and just smile.

o my goodness do you love your sisters.
you very much are concerned with how they feel and making sure they are included in anything special.
you're not very good at secrets or surprises.
if you get something special you want them to also have the same.

you have big muscles
an amazing memory
a practical joker
obsessed with chap stick
pro UNO player
will hyperventilate if sent to time out. 
which really isn't very often because you are so good.
always up for adventures
soaks in new knowledge and details like a sponge

I am so grateful to be your mom.
to have front row seats to your life and be the biggest fan
I can't get enough of you and I am just so excited to see what God has planned for you.
I love you Hazel 

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