Tuesday, May 6, 2014

healing and growing

I have been having a hard time finding motivation to write on here. 
Just don't really know how to follow up on this post. 
it's still really fresh in my mind and when I find myself in a quite moment I can't help but think of Brea. this past weekend we attended the benefit to raise money for their twins head stone. My dad is a guitarist in a band called Ridge Runner. The band and TONS of friends and family helped put together the benefit. There was a lot of music and games for the kids to play, raffles and food. SO many people showed up and it was so good to see Brea and Brad smiling and enjoying themselves.
Brea came up to me at one point and hugged me and told me not to be upset I have a baby to take care of.  
so I am trying to concentrate on my not so little bump.
 We went to the doctors and found out that we are farther along than we thought, by 2 weeks!
two weeks might not be a huge deal but it made me so happy to hear that I will get to hold this baby in my arms sooner than I planned! it's still to early to find out the sex and I honestly have no idea what it will be. of course with our 3 girls everyone says they hope it's a boy and I would be over the moon if they are right but I also am worried. I am so used to girls, I know girls, I know my girls, girls seem to be a no brain-er for me.
I have been complaining A LOT I feel like.
I was always so confused why people hated the first trimester. I never had morning sickness or tiredness. the heart burn and ligament pain, head aches and just feeling blah never creep-ed up until the last 2-3 months for the last 2 pregnancies. This time around I have been nausea EVERYDAY! the sickness seems to come and go but the tiredness and heart burn don't want to go away! I hate complaining and it feels so weird because I have never been more excited to be pregnant!
according to our life plans this is the last birth baby we are going to have. and my husband and I want to savor every moment. He was never one to really talk to my belly but now he wont leave in the morning or go to bed before he has a small conversation with this little one. all the sickness aside I have never been happier in my life and I feel so blessed that God is entrusting us to parent another gift.
Thank you all so much for all the prayers for this pregnancy and for the Spurlock family.

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