Wednesday, June 17, 2015

10 things children of photographers dont like.

I am a self proclaim mom-tographer.
just one look at my instagram feed
  you know my children are constantly in my viewfinder of every camera I own. I want them to always have memories to look back on. So I document basically anything and everything I find that tells our family story.
One day we were having a normal picnic in the back yard. After everyone finished eating no one got up. I asked what they were waiting on? my 4 year old said "Are you going to take our picture first?"
I laughed out loud. most normal non photographer children would not of thought twice about running off to play but my kids knew I would have just called them back to pose for a "candid" picnic pose. 
This got me wondering what else my children have to live through because their mother has photography on her brain 24-7?
So later at bed time I asked them and they seemed to enjoy this question and had already thought of tons of answers. most of the answers seemed to be what They HATE about having a mom-tographer.
Here are the top 10
Smile! Cheese! Fuzzy Pickles and Smelly Feet!
We know all your tricks to make us smile. and they don't work any more. If I am not in the mood to smile just deal with it or try again in an hour.
We have to do it again and again and wait one more time, one last time!
 when Mom catches us doing something and she wants a picture of it, it always becomes such a hassle! We have to stop, wait for her to get all her settings ready and then repeat over and over that one action just to repeat it again because it's too dark or blurry or she missed it. by this point our fun little action just got really boring and really frustrating.
there's always someone that ruins the perfect picture
mom gets determined to get a group shot. she sets everyone up and right before she presses the button someone gets upset or moves or blinks or a demon takes over them and this quick group photo ends up just being about 28 outtakes and not one perfect picture.

You get recognized at the grocery store!
This actually happens. Mom always knows the people but because more than not we have no clue who this person is that says they see all my pictures and love them! 
Belle modeled for a  metal band promo picture. a few weeks later someone came up and said she felt like she was meeting a celebrity! I thought we were just playing dress up and holding cold steak with ketchup.
not only do we have to repeat things over and over. we also have to adjust what we are doing so mom can get her picture. this could mean moving into better light or turning a certain way or using a different hand, looking a different direction. Here Stella was enjoying a watermelon. mom took it from her and held it up at a higher level so she can get a better picture. Stella was able to still enjoy it but not in the most comfortable way.

sometimes just watching mom moving all over is pretty embarrassing.
she crawls on the floor. she climbs trees. she stands over top of our shoulders. she is in front of us and behind us. she runs far out to get a wide shot and then shes up close into our personal space.
Mom say's she's not going to pay money for something she could do herself. So we don't ever get to participate in picture day.
Test subjects
We are always mom's test subjects for any artistic idea she thinks up. face painting, costumes, props and strange locations are a norm for her. She tries to get us involved with picking things out and makes it into a game but ultimately it's her vision.
modeling in public
a lot of times her ideas include shooting in public locations and we just have to learn to ignore any staring from strangers.
Lots of embarrassing photos
lets just say we will be keeping any future boyfriends far away from mom's scrap books for as long as we can!

yes I am that mom.
The crazy photographer that puts my kids through it all.
and as they might hate it in the moment I always show them the final images and they always seem happy.
they spend hours looking through the scrap books and boxes of thousands of pictures. 
one day when they are grown
I hope they treasure each one and have fond memories of their mom-tographer.

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