Wednesday, December 3, 2014

I was going to quit photography

I had been a photography lover since I was a kid and whenever I had a few bucks I would buy a disposable camera.
I would covet those 24 images and only hit the shutter button when I knew it was a picture worth taking. 
when we would go to the grocery store I would always sneak off to the developed film boxes (remember those?)
now I am not sure if I broke any laws and admitting this will probably make me look like a crazy person 
I used to look through the other envelopes other people had developed.
I just wanted to see what everyone else was taking pictures of.
what was their eye seeing ?
what things did they want to remember?
luckily my innocent eyes never saw anything I shouldn't have seen.....eeek nude pics
and luckily now I have pinterest and facebook to do my weird picture snooping obsession :)
I took a photography class in high school 
worked at sears portrait studio for a few years
and then begged my husband one year to get me a big fancy camera
he did
and I was so excited!
but I had no idea how to use it.
I read tons of books and websites
watched thousands of youtube videos 
took a few classes in college and on the internet
but mainly the best way for me to learn was by just doing it.
trial and error.
I practiced and practiced
and I loved every minute of it
I felt like it was my thing and I wanted to soak everything in
I look back on some of those beginning photos and I can't help but laugh at myself.
for example:
This was Miss Belle 4 years ago
I had this brilliant idea to put turkey feathers on her bare bottom to make her look like a turkey for her first thanksgiving.
I was so excited about how this picture turned out.
but now after all that I have learned this picture is ummm well bad.
the selective color is really cheesy
my poor baby is not posed in any flattering or comfortable way
the backdrop has a huge gap showing the floor
the crop is cutting off Belle's head for no reason
BUT I still really thought the idea was brilliant
so I wanted to try to recreate it using Hazel and all the things I learned over the years:
 now I am not saying this picture is perfect but I am much more happier with this one than the old one.  Photography has really helped me in so many ways. it has been a huge part of who I am. it's amazing to me to see my older work and my newer stuff and how far I have come. it is a confidence booster and I needed that because
I stated a while ago that I was taking the end of the year off from my photography business.
 but what I didn't share was the fact that I was feeling so burnt out and tired that I wasn't sure if I even wanted to start it back up.
I never wanted my photography to feel like a job or talk myself into doing a session
it was nothing someone did or said
 it was just me missing the fun I used to have.
there was a lot of factors that just made me feel down about it
I see all my photographer friends posting all their new pictures and it does make me miss it.
 I have had a lot of distractions with the new baby and lots of family time.
I have gotten to do a few personal projects and started brain storming new ideas for future projects.
I want to stretch myself and do more art work along with the normal family, baby, senior sessions.
I want to do more charity work
and  really see things grow and reach the stars I have been nervous and doubtful I would ever reach.
I have been so blessed with such great support from each and every one of my photography clients and jobs. I am excited to get back into the groove at the start of the new year. I have some big changes coming. 
I am going to take this time off to spend time with my family but also really reflect and work on myself and grow my photography skills and plans. 
I just wanted to share with all my photography friends and clients, that I miss you and I am coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!

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