Tuesday, August 18, 2015

the end of an era!

I am going to go down memory lane.
And if you don't want to take the trip then......... click out of here
After all my blog is called: Chachi's memories!

5 years ago I gave birth for the first time. I held this little person and studied all her features. Sorting out what pieces came from me or her daddy. I was in awe of the whole process of growing this baby and birthing her. With a lot of help from God we made this creature and now we are to mold and shape her into the person she will become.

 She is the one that made me a stay at home mom. I couldn't bare the thought of someone else witnessing all the first and little mundane moments that add up to her childhood memories. I didn't want to miss a thing. So quit college, cut my work hours to just 2 days a week and then eventually was able to strictly work from home.

 And I got what I wanted. Every smile, tear, meal, bump, triumph, scare, joke, doctor appointment, library time, picnic, play date, sickness, field trip, holiday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday I got to be apart of it all.
 I have watched her grow and her personality shine. She truly is my side kick and best friend. She makes bad days better. I couldn't have asked for anything more. And I knew this day was coming so we spent all of this passed year preparing. But mainly preparing mommy.

 You see it's 8 minutes passed bedtime but I can't seem to bring myself to actually put her to bed. Because that means she will wake up and have entered into a new phase of life. One that I can't be apart of. The days of answering the question with "she stays home with me." Are over.  She's officially going to be a school girl. Just like that. 
I knew this was going to be hard but this hard?
 I don't want to do it. 
She's ready, she's excited 
and I am acting my butt off like I am just as excited.

I made my husband take off work to be my support. I am seriously going to cry buckets once that kindergarten door shuts and she is not paying attention to me.
 Being a parent is hard.
 It's a lot of money, sleepless nights, stress, mental and physically draining but the hardest part that no one really warns you is time speeds up 10x faster after you have child. My 6 pound 2 weeks early newborn grew in a blink of an eye and is heading off to her first day of school. 
But I am going to fight it just for tonight.
 It's me that's begging for more time in the bathtub, one more glass of water, one more bed time story, one more hug and kiss and one more "I love you"

she's going to do great and I will learn to cope with this new phase in life. I am forever grateful for the last 5 years and all the memories.
 it's the end of an era for her
 but the beginning of a great adventure. 
School. friends. learning. teachers. growing in her interest and discovering new interest.
 I am excited for her but if someone was to make a time machine I would gladly take a ride on it :)

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