Crazy plant lady

 One thing that has been bringing me joy,

is plants.

 Even though I have been gardening for over 5 years I still feel like I know close to nothing about what I am doing.

I just really enjoy digging in the dirt and watching something grow.

My backyard has been my getaway for many years because it's free, it's an accumulation of random things I built or placed there that's makes probably only to myself. 

Lots of wonderful memories have been made in my back yard and lots of hard days were prayed over while I sat back there. 

Here is a photo dump of a few recent pictures I took while walking and working on my gardens.

 

 

This is my grandma's plant I took from her home after her passing.

it wasn't looking too healthy. 

I moved it to a full sun window and noticed new growth!

 

I also inherited this plant from my grandma's funeral. it's was taking a turn for the worse in the last few weeks and I was so sad. 

I took a chance and put it outside for a weekend. 

and it came back to life! I didn't think to take a before picture but imagine what it would look like if someone sat on top of this guy. that's what it looked like. 

I am so ecstatic that he's standing talk I insisted we give him a name. 

I feel like plants should have classic names from different countries. 

I asked my husband to name a country and he said Poland.

I googles polish names and Albert was chosen.

meet Albert:

 

My daughter is concerned for my mental state

I don't know if I can convince her I am doing normal plant lady things.

 

Pollinators have become reasons for me to squeal with excitement!!!

 

Now my neighbors are worried about my mental state.......

 

Now on to actual garden things:

I have a zucchini plant.

squirrels are rapid in these parts and I am sure they will get to this guy before I actually can harvest anything. so I will just photograph what I grow in the meantime and be proud of these 4 leafs sprouting up!

 

The thing I am MOST exited about is my corn!!!

I can't explain it but maybe in my mind you are not a real gardener unless you grow corn.

everyday these guys are getting taller and taller!

so my own definition of achieving this desirable status is getting closer and closer

 

Of course I can't forget the strawberries!

we are in peak season right now!

everyday a bowl full is getting picked and eaten just as fast lol

 

If you have fallowed my gardens then you know in the same bed as my strawberry plants is mint....

not at all on purpose and again we had no idea what we were doing but it's definitely too late now. 

this opps though I swear is actually been the reason those darn squirrels have NOT bothered my strawberries. 

but I have sever guilt because we get an abundance of mint and I never know what to do with it so I don't do anything or very little.

it feels like a waste. 

So I try to find new recipes

I found: mint sugar scrub  

very simple

Mint

oil

sugar

mix and store in jar

 

 

I have constant helpers with me 

Hazel  and Caesar

That's it. 

for now.

check back with you all next week maybe I will have some flowers to share!!!

Craving freedom and a simple life

Like so many the hard times of 2020 seemed to continue into 2021.

My family has been hit hard 

we lost my grandma

my father had a stroke

two of my sisters suffered miscarriages

and a lot of other relationships that mean a lot to me seem to have been hurt because of politics or religious differences. 

Gossip and expectations not being met. 

I noticed my migraines are getting worse.

After a mix of wonderful and a very overwhelming weekend

I was exhausted.

I have been struggling with defining my why's about my presence on social media. The last post on this blog was all about feeling censored and judged!

I don't understand where the concept of agree to disagree and still respect each other's rights to our own opinions has gone?

I am not perfect and I am striving to learn and put myself in other shoes. I may never fully relate to someones story but I have empathy.

maybe a little too much. 

I am the kind of person that will take on others emotions and fully feel them. I try to figure out what motivates someone to treat others so badly. 

I used to think everyone has good in them. the older I get the more I feel like that's harder to believe.

We have witnessed others try to destroy what someone built honestly all because of selfish reasons. it's extremely disheartening. 

I have been feeling very negative lately.

I don't like it.

I am not saying it's all one persons fault or a social media platforms fault. 

it's mine.

I need to recognize that I am overloading my own consumption of outside influences on negative things. 

I need to redirect what I spent my time investing in.

I need to take more breaks and walk away for the constant exposure of other peoples lives. 

people that even if they are well meaning don't deserve that currency of my attention.

I need to focus on what makes me happy.

where I am needed

And the answer to that is so obvious.

HOME.

my marriage

my children

my education

my art

my passions

me

 I am making a conscious choice to only log onto Facebook once a week.

share my photography images on Instagram once a week.

Write a blog post with all the other images I want to have documented somewhere twice a week.

Check my email when need

Only research things that farther my knowledge on topics I care about.

I am not sure if this will be a permanent thing. I truly love being about to reconnect with old friends and family members. I love keeping up with your stories and your lives. I love sharing our family. But I have seen some dark things happen because of social media and I need to set boundaries for the time being. It's already been a week and my stress level has gone noticeably down. I have very close individuals I admire that have already implemented a similar schedule or have completely signed off of social media. They have all said it was the best decision they made. 

I am craving freedom.

I think this is the first step to helping me achieve goals I have for a more simpler life.

dusting off the old blog

 Well Hello there!!!

other than posting a few times a year my letters to the girls for their birthdays, I have not actually made a blog post in a VERY VERY long time! I am missing it and with the current climate of today's social media, I am wanting to create a safe place for myself to post. I understand really no where on the internet is completely safe but I have a little voice in the back of my head reminding me of a simpler time when I loved writing and sharing my days and little tid bits of my life on THIS blog!. 

So I thought I would test the waters and see if this change is actually something I want to implement back into my routine.

I have spent the last few months really reflecting on my why for even being on social media. 

it's connection.

I want to share my girls and my life with my family and friends. I want to know what they are doing in their lives. I want to interact with others going through similar life experiences. I want to get my photos out in the world for exposure and to gain new opportunities. I love to get ideas for photography, home decor, art projects, gardens, reading, ect. I love to see what God is doing in other's life and find ways I can help or get help if needed. 

Social media is such a great tool but can also be a dark place. I have in the last few years had friends and family block me because of a political stance. I have even felt myself judging and being upset at others for their choices. I have spent way too much time researching and fact checking the fact checkers only to just continue going in circles with others and getting no where at finding real solutions or even to come to a agree to disagree moment. This has caused too much stress and sadness for my own mental health and I feel it's been building up.

I don't want it to get worse. I don't want to live my life putting energy into things that I know in my core is not my calling to be on that battle field. I want to show the love of Jesus through my actions. I have so many flaws and I recognize them and want to actively work towards correcting them.

2020 was a very hard year for everyone and I don't want to spend a ton of time retelling all the ups and downs. I want to start fresh with this blog but I do want to explain that God has spoken so loud and clear to me about what he wants me to be focusing on. My girls, my marriage, my journey to becoming an Art teacher and laying down the ground work to goals we all have as a family and followers of Christ. I have so much to share!! So much content I want to dive more into and document. I just know that something needs to change with my current outlets. I truly feel the Christian community is under attack. So I am seeking a safe place that I can freely share without the fear of being censored. I am praying this is the answer. I don't plan to post much my Facebook page and Instagram. I will continue to be on there for contact reasons with family and friends. this is going to be the place from here on out where you will see pictures of me, my kids, my husband, my life. I am going to start out slow and post only once a week a recap of what we have done and maybe a bonus post of what's on my mind. I really want to get into writing more. I enjoy it even though I know I am not the most talented. 

I am ready for this change. I know it's the right thing to do.  

So if you are excited to read and see pictures here we go!!!

first up are just to update anyone on how much my girls have grown since the last time I posted:

 

 

 me and the Mr. are still smooching like we are teenagers 

 

 

Alright that's it for now but I Girl scout promise you I will be back!

what are you doing differently this year to help your mental health?

Belle's 9th birthday letter

Dear Belle,

 every year I say I can't believe how fast time is going

 but every year it just seems to speed up faster!!!

9 is a big kid number! 

like there is no pretending that you are not growing up.

but

I am absolutely in love with who you are growing into.

Your Dad and I were talking about how you have interest and talents

 that are not what Julia would call "trending"

 but you completely enjoy these things and you know you are good at them

 so you do it anyway. I think that is amazing and inspiring! 

you love comic books, star wars, designing and sewing, drawing and roller skating.

you are so dependable and responsible. 

helpful and caring. 

you are always the one ready to comfort anyone that needs it.

you have a heart of gold.

and then you have the darkest sense of humor.

It completely takes people off gaurd becasue you look every bit the part of an angel

 but you live for the burn you dish out.

 and I admit I am very impressed and quite frankly proud of it.

your favorite person to tease is Uncle Gage.

you will never admit it but you love him so much but your so deep into your game that you could never show it.

I got to go to Girl scout camp with you this past year and I learned so much about you during all the activities and fun with your friends.

 you have a great group of friends.

 I am so thankful for that. 

I used to pray very hard night after night that you would get out of your shell.

 your friends know the real you and they love you! 

they help bring out your silly, funny goofy side and they know exactly how to support you and encourage you. 

You are an amazing friend back and that make me so proud.

The way you treat your sisters is exactly the way you treat your friends.

I hope you never stop that.

I feel 100% blessed to be your mom.

to have front row seats to watch you grow.

keep doing you 

no worries or second guessing 

be confident and practice hard until you accomplish all your dreams.

I have no doubt you will make it to Paris one day babe.

America's Got Talent is another story but you never know 

no matter what know that I am your number 1 fan!!

Happy 9th birthday,

Belle Elizabeth

Belle Belle

Miss Belle

love, 

Mom

Stella's 7th LETTER

Dear Stella,

This past year has been full of changes for you. 

You started Kindergarten! 

you learned how to read, do math problems, make new friends and just blow me away with how fast you learned all the things!

School was such a big step and we had our reasons for waiting one more year before signing you up but when it was time  

you were beyond ready!

School is your home away from home. you loved your teacher,

 I loved that she was Julia's teacher and she already knew you and our family well.

 That helped a lot with my anxiety. 

you would get so upset on weekends or days off school because you didn't want a day off!

 I seriously hope you always have this passion for learning and school,

 it will take you far baby girl!

 countless amount of times I witnessed you being the very best friend anyone would be blessed to have. A boy had a running nose and you gave him your sweater to wipe his face. You made crafts and pictures for all the kids in your class for no other reason but to let them know you thought about them. You always are concerned about any kids that are getting "bullied" and you made sure the adults around would look out for it. you wanted to be the first to RSVP to every birthday party invite. and every single day you ask for a play date and each time its a new kids name.

 Your sense of Humor is one of a kind.

 very silly, random and sometimes you're the only one that gets the joke

 and that's totally fine with you because you just love to laugh. 

it can be a crazy hyeena witch laugh with lots of snorts and its highly contagious!

 you are starting to really love art more. 

Your talents are neck and neck with Belle! 

You color and draw everyday. we run out of drawing paper on the monthly now! 

some times you do get frustrated with yourself about a mistake or not being able to doing something exactly like you had in your head.

 babe please don't be so hard on yourself and let the little mistakes get to you too much. sometimes the little imperfections end up being the best part.

 from the second I found out I was pregnant with you I have always worried about you, stressed about various different things about your health, your future, your surroundings. more than any of your sisters. I have told you so many times about how you taught me how to trust God, how to ask him first for help, how to pray and how to love without fear. Thank you.

 you are such a homebody.

 your happy place is sitting on the couch with your 20 super soft pillows, a book and your thumb. your favorite color is pink, and purple and rainbow and glitter and sparkles. 

you are still a huge my little pony fan.

 you still love Ketchup. 

bath bombs are a favorite right now. 

you sing at the top of your lungs every song you make up.

 you dance and beg us to sit for your living room performances

 you brighten everyone's day and you make everyone you meet feel loved. it's a gift I am so proud to see you have.

 

I can't wrap my head around the fact that you are 7 years old! that's a really big kids number to me and it's just hard for me because you will always be my little girl.

 I love you so much! I am so excited to see what this coming year holds for you because it's going to be another big one! new school, girl scouts and ninja training :P 

 no matter what just promise me it will be filled with your giggles and perfect cuddle sessions.

Happy birthday 

Stella Jo

Bug